moosopp
saxifraga-x-urbium:

malformalady:

A son went into a rarely-used bedroom in his mother’s home and discovered thousands of wasps had made a giant nest in a bed. An estimated 5,000 wasps had created a nest by chewing through bedding, including a blanket and pillow. Pest-control expert John Birkett was called to tackle with the mound of wasps inside the mattress at the five-bedroom home in Winchester, Hampshire.

saxifraga-x-urbium:

malformalady:

A son went into a rarely-used bedroom in his mother’s home and discovered thousands of wasps had made a giant nest in a bed. An estimated 5,000 wasps had created a nest by chewing through bedding, including a blanket and pillow. Pest-control expert John Birkett was called to tackle with the mound of wasps inside the mattress at the five-bedroom home in Winchester, Hampshire.

twinksandboobs
whoopsmartershere:

(Kinda really nsfw!!)

“Whoa, Dave—! Are you sure? Isn’t it a bit too fast for this yet?”
“John, I know what I’m doing.”
“Dave, you’re really assertive today is something wro—”

“Fuck! Jeez—! A little warning, Dave!”

“God…John sh…shut up…and start moving.”
“Easy Dave, I’m going to finish really early if you don’t stop being so weird!”
“Calling me weird isn’t hot so shut. up. and start moving, Jo…AA—!”

“If you’re going to tell me to be quiet, you might as well shut up too!”
“…”

“Hey, Dave, have I told you that—”

“John…If you say doing me is like ‘doing an angel’ during sex, one more time, I’m going to flip and piss on everything you love.”
“But it’s true.”

“Gosh, you’re so pretty, Dave…”
“John, get back to business. Also, being called pretty isn’t something I’d like to hear—”
“You would have to piss on yourself, you know.”
“…Wow, John, ever the romantic.”

“Oh, come on, Dave. You know you love it.”
“John, shut up!”
“You’re laughing during sex!”
“You’re making me laugh with how ridiculous you are.”
“Aw, Dave. Completely vulnerable to my charms.”
“We’re going to be stuck here, with you still inside me and I’m going to cry.”
“Okay, okay! Let’s just finish. You’ll be completely swept off your feet with how good I am at love making.”
“John.”
“Yeah?”
“Sometime soon, before I go limp.”
“Oh, right.”

“God—! John…hurry up—”
“I can’t just—”
“John! I’m really close, hurry.”
“Dave, don’t be so deman—”
”..!”
“F-fuck—! Dave…wait we only started like ten minutes ago—! Dave?”
“Hurry up, John, I can’t move myself for you. I’m going to fall asleep.”
“So inconsiderate. Dave…Dave…”

“Finally. Jeez, John, does my visage not turn you on enough?”
“Shut up, Dave.”
—-

“…Did we just fall asleep for like, ten hours…”
“Yeah, we did.”
“Dave, we’re in trouble with Jade! We promised we’d be gone for only about an hour! Also, get off, it’s super hot in here.”

“No, it’s really comfortable right here. Let me just settle my bird ass down nice and snug here.”
“Dave, you’re purposely distracting the dire situation here. I can’t even begin to imagine Jade’s face right now. She could have even come looking for us and found us in such a disturbing manner!”
“Calm down, deep breaths.”
“…”

“Hm? Dave, don’t suddenly get all quiet on me.”
“…”
“Did you say something?”
“I’m glad that…God this is really cheesy but, I’m glad that…you chose me instead of any other Dave.”
“Is that what this was about?”
“What if it was?”
“You’re such a dork!”
“Oh, shut up.”
“…”
“…”
“I love you too, Dave.”
“I never said that.”
“No need to beat around the bush.”
“There is no beating around here. None whatsoever. Who’s that beating around the bush? Maybe a squirrel who’s got no business—”
“Shhh, Dave, only cuddling now.”
“…”
“…”
“Thank you, John.”
“I’m going to kiss you, now.”
“Ever the romantic.”
“You know you love it.”
—-
three things i cant really do; porn, dialogue, comics
and i did them anyway
now im going to weep at this terrible thing

whoopsmartershere:

(Kinda really nsfw!!)

image

“Whoa, Dave—! Are you sure? Isn’t it a bit too fast for this yet?”

“John, I know what I’m doing.”

“Dave, you’re really assertive today is something wro—”

image

“Fuck! Jeez—! A little warning, Dave!”

image

“God…John sh…shut up…and start moving.”

“Easy Dave, I’m going to finish really early if you don’t stop being so weird!”

“Calling me weird isn’t hot so shut. up. and start moving, Jo…AA—!”

image

“If you’re going to tell me to be quiet, you might as well shut up too!”

“…”

image

“Hey, Dave, have I told you that—”

image

“John…If you say doing me is like ‘doing an angel’ during sex, one more time, I’m going to flip and piss on everything you love.”

“But it’s true.”

image

“Gosh, you’re so pretty, Dave…”

“John, get back to business. Also, being called pretty isn’t something I’d like to hear—”

“You would have to piss on yourself, you know.”

“…Wow, John, ever the romantic.”

image

“Oh, come on, Dave. You know you love it.”

“John, shut up!”

“You’re laughing during sex!”

“You’re making me laugh with how ridiculous you are.”

“Aw, Dave. Completely vulnerable to my charms.”

“We’re going to be stuck here, with you still inside me and I’m going to cry.”

“Okay, okay! Let’s just finish. You’ll be completely swept off your feet with how good I am at love making.”

“John.”

“Yeah?”

“Sometime soon, before I go limp.”

“Oh, right.”

image

“God—! John…hurry up—”

“I can’t just—”

“John! I’m really close, hurry.”

“Dave, don’t be so deman—”

”..!”

“F-fuck—! Dave…wait we only started like ten minutes ago—! Dave?”

“Hurry up, John, I can’t move myself for you. I’m going to fall asleep.”

“So inconsiderate. Dave…Dave…”

image

“Finally. Jeez, John, does my visage not turn you on enough?”

“Shut up, Dave.”

—-

image

“…Did we just fall asleep for like, ten hours…”

“Yeah, we did.”

“Dave, we’re in trouble with Jade! We promised we’d be gone for only about an hour! Also, get off, it’s super hot in here.”

image

“No, it’s really comfortable right here. Let me just settle my bird ass down nice and snug here.”

“Dave, you’re purposely distracting the dire situation here. I can’t even begin to imagine Jade’s face right now. She could have even come looking for us and found us in such a disturbing manner!”

“Calm down, deep breaths.”

“…”

image

“Hm? Dave, don’t suddenly get all quiet on me.”

“…”

“Did you say something?”

“I’m glad that…God this is really cheesy but, I’m glad that…you chose me instead of any other Dave.”

“Is that what this was about?”

“What if it was?”

“You’re such a dork!”

“Oh, shut up.”

“…”

“…”

“I love you too, Dave.”

“I never said that.”

“No need to beat around the bush.”

“There is no beating around here. None whatsoever. Who’s that beating around the bush? Maybe a squirrel who’s got no business—”

“Shhh, Dave, only cuddling now.”

“…”

“…”

“Thank you, John.”

“I’m going to kiss you, now.”

“Ever the romantic.”

“You know you love it.”

—-

three things i cant really do; porn, dialogue, comics

and i did them anyway

now im going to weep at this terrible thing